Dealing with any type of Abuse such as Sexual, Physical, and Verbal, or being in a relationship with any degree of Domestic Violence is not only stressful for adults or young women but if you have children, it can lead to even higher degrees of stress and Life-Long Trauma or Mental Health Issues for them including Anxiety, Depression, Post Traumatic Stress, etc. And it can also lead to our children inheriting bad habits and behavior if the root of the problem is not dealt with early on. Procrastination in dealing with such issues has absolutely no place in a relationship or parenthood. This is something that I didn’t understand when I was young, but I do know first hand of what the end result can be, being that I grew up in a home where Domestic Violence was sometimes a bi-weekly or bi-monthly event in my house and environment growing up; as far back as I can remember since around the age of 3 or so, and it is still something that has affected me in my adulthood.
In reading the next few sections we will take a close look at how children are affected in Abusive Relationships and the long-term effects of witnessing Domestic Violence, as well as how abused mothers (sometimes fathers) and their children can get affordable Legal Access and the help they need and deserve, but in a way that it doesn’t become a financial burden to make the transition of getting out of an Abusive Relationship a lot less stressful.
Children Are Witnesses Because They See, Hear, Observe and are Aware. They Also Have Imagination
Witnessing can mean Seeing actual incidents of Physical and or Sexual Abuse. It can mean Hearing threats or fighting noises from another room such as the breaking of items, slapping, punching and a body being thrown against a wall. Children may also Observe the aftermath of Physical Abuse such as blood, bruises, tears, torn clothing, and broken items. Finally, children may be Aware of the tension in the home such as their mother’s fearfulness when the abuser comes home on the same day as the prior fight or when the couple has a disagreement. The combination of all of these things contributes to the child/ren’s imagination. What would you be imagining if the people who were supposed to love you the most were no more than the worst examples of how to treat someone you love as a child or another human being?
What Are The Feelings Of Children Who Are Exposed To Domestic Violence or Abusive Relationships
Studies show that every year 3-4 million children between the ages of 3-17 are at risk of exposure to Domestic Violence. Statistics say that 95% of Domestic Violence cases usually involve women being victims of male partners, and their children often become first-hand witnesses to Domestic Violence in the home between their parents or guardians.
Children who are exposed to Domestic Violence or Abusive Relationships become fearful and anxious. They are always on guard, watching and waiting for the next bad event to occur. They never know what will trigger the abuse, and therefore, they never feel safe. They are always worried for themselves and their siblings. They may always have the feeling of worthless and powerless.
Children who grow up in abusive homes who witness Domestic Violence on an ongoing basis are expected to keep the family secret, sometimes not even talking to each other about it, always packing their emotions deep within themselves, and can look perfectly fine to the outside world, but inside they are in ongoing terrible mental pain and torment. They may blame themselves for everything they have witnessed thinking that if they had not done or said a particular thing, the abuse wouldn’t have occurred in the first place. They may also become angry at their siblings or another party for triggering the abuse. They may also feel extreme rage, embarrassment, or even humiliation.
Children of abusive families always feel isolated and vulnerable. They are starved for attention, affection, and approval. Because one of the parents is either struggling to keep the peace or survive, that parent is often not present for their children or may be emotionally detached. Because the parent (usually the father) is so selfish and consumed with controlling everyone, he or she may also not be mentally present for their children they way that children need their parents to be. These children become physically, emotionally and psychologically abandoned or numb.
What Behaviors Do Children Who Witness Domestic Violence Exhibit?
The emotional responses of children who witness Domestic Violence may include extreme fear, extreme guilt, extreme shame, sleep disturbances, extreme sadness or depression, and extreme anger. Children can even show signs of hate at both the abuser for the violence and at the person who was abused for being unable to prevent the violence.
Children may also unintentionally respond with stomach aches and or headaches, bed wetting, and the loss of ability to concentrate in school. Some children may also experience Physical or Sexual Abuse or neglect. Children may be also self-mutilate or injure themselves while trying to intervene or stop the fight on behalf of their mother or a sibling.
The behavioral responses of children who witness Domestic Violence or Abusive Relationships may include acting out violently, withdrawal or anxiousness to please the abuser. The children may exhibit signs of anxiety and have a short attention span which may result in poor school performance and attendance. They may experience developmental delays in speech, motor, or cognitive skills. They may also use violence to express themselves displaying increased aggression with peers or mother.
What Are The Long-Term Affects Of Children Who Witness Domestic Violence or Abusive Relationships?
Whether or not children are Physically Abused, they often suffer Emotional and Psychological Trauma from living in homes where their fathers abuse their mothers or the other way around. Children whose mothers are abused are denied the kind of home life that leads to healthy development. Children who grow up observing their mothers being abused, especially by their fathers or another man, grow up with a role model of intimate relationships in which one person uses intimidation and violence over the other person to get their way. Because children have a natural tendency to identify with strength, they may ally themselves with the abuse and lose respect for their seemingly helpless mother. Abusers typically play into this by putting the mother down in front of her children and telling them that their mother is “crazy” or “stupid” and that they do not have to listen to her. Seeing their mothers treated with enormous disrespect teaches children that they can disrespect women the way their fathers do.
Most studies illustrate and experts believe that children who are raised in abusive homes learn that violence is an effective way to resolve conflicts and problems. They may replicate the violence they witnessed as children in their teen and adult relationships and parenting experiences. Boys who witness their mothers’ abuse are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes. For girls, adolescence may result in the belief that threats and violence are normal in relationships.
Children from violent homes have higher risks of alcohol/drug abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder, and juvenile delinquency. Witnessing domestic violence is the single best predictor of juvenile delinquency and adult criminality. It is also the number one reason children run away.
Do Children Call The Police When They Witness Domestic Violence Between Their Parents or Legal Guardians
Children don’t usually call the police on their parents when these types of issues occur, nor do young women when they’ve been Sexually or Physically abused. That been said, if you do call the police, it is only a Police Issue when they are charging or arresting an Abuser or a Sexual Predator. After that, it’s no longer a Police Issue, but a Legal Issue. Here is the dilemma, 90% of people in North American society have been priced out of the Legal System. They just can’t afford $200.00 to $350.00 per hour for Legal Advice, Legal Counsel, and Guidance, so they turn to Legal Aid (Public Defender’s System) and take the wrong advice from family and friends. As a result, most younger, older women or the abused person (sometimes men) don’t end up getting the Justice that they deserve, and neither do the children.
Report Of The Canadian Bar Association Access to the Justice Committee in 2011 said “We know that many people in Canada do not have access to the legal help they need. The legal aid system is overburdened and decades of reforms haven’t solved the problem. In 2011, the World Justice Project ranked Canada 9th out of 12 developed countries on access to Justice.”
Report Of The Canadian Bar Association Access to the Justice Committee in 2015 said “The state of access to justice in Canada is abysmal and getting worse. Inaccessible justice hurts us all, as the growing number of middle-class Canadians who suffer from it can attest, but its harshest consequences are visited upon the poorest and most vulnerable people in our communities. Over the next three years, 45 percent of Canadians will encounter a legal problem and many will not get the help they need because of perceived or actual barriers.”
What are the perceived or actual barriers? Cost. So if you could have Affordable Legal Access to a Top-Quality Law Firm and the best Lawyers to protect the Legal Rights of you and your children, without it being a financial burden to you, would you?
Did you know that as a LegalShield Member, what you would pay for an entire year of unlimited Legal Services is almost the same amount as what you would pay for only one hour of a Lawyer’s limited time, for only one Legal issue? Therefore, one year equals one hour.
In closing, if you or anyone you know is going through, or has been in an Abusive Relationship, such as Physical Abuse, Verbal Abuse, or Domestic Violence with children present, or if you or anyone you know is dealing with a Divorce, a Child Custody Issue, a Children’s Aid Society (CAS) Issue, or an Identity Theft Issue, and would like to save money in Legal Fees, it would be intelligent to have Affordable and Proactive Unlimited Legal Advice, Counsel, Guidance and Legal Document Review while going through a separation or divorce and help protect your Legal Rights and the peace of mind of you and your children and at the same time protect your children’s Identity Theft, which is entirely another issue all together, being that 70% of all Identity Theft issues are or end up becoming Legal issues.
It is an intelligent decision to be Proactively Protected and Empowered with unlimited Legal Access and Identity Theft Protection.
If you are interested in protecting the Legal Rights and Identity of you and your family, especially for your children, please Leave Your Message or Call 519-872-6875 for more free information. Our Services that are designed to protect all North American citizens. We don’t use Paralegals or Legal Aid Lawyers, and all of our Dedicated Provider Lawyers all have a minimum of 19 years experience in their area of practice.
See other Articles by Patrice Samuel Robinson HERE